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    Tool 05 … Relationship! Relationship! Relationship!

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    A summary of ideas for discussion

    • Take the time to enter into a child’s world; find out how they tick; take an interest in their lives.
    • Work out what sort of relationship you would like to end up with and how to achieve that.
    • Find out about a child’s interests, hobbies, likes, dislikes, abilities & disabilities, friends & family, experiences, traumas as well as the memories, both good and bad.
    • This is an S9 tool

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.
‣‣‣ Anthony J. D’Angelo


Find out about a child’s interests, hobbies, likes, dislikes, abilities & disabilities, friends & family, experiences, traumas and memories, both good and bad. Add to this list.

  • Again, many behavioural issues are averted if you are in a just-right relationship. Take a simple, caring interest in a child. Develop a healthy, helpful connection.
  • It is also helps gain important information for sharpening the behavioural tools down the list. For example, knowing a child’s interests helps when it comes to rewarding or managing healthy behaviours.
  • Often programs and general preoccupation with other matters is the enemy of this activity.
  • Connections with other children and significant people in a child’s life adds to the security and sense of well-being for children. Help your children engage in a variety of safe, helpful and healthy relationships with others.


Truth & Grace

  • The truth is … entering relationships with children and working well with them takes a great deal of desire and commitment to do it well. It also takes skill … so take the time to read, train, practise, reflect and learn.
  • The truth is … it is often very hard work … some of the most difficult work undertaken on the planet … this planet or any other.
  • The truth is … all we can do some days is barely hang on and just manage.
  • The grace is … that’s OK
  • The grace in all of this is … we have each other to help in hard times and as we grow and learn from our mistakes together.
  • Grace is a good team/village/extended family to work with. Find this. Work hard and plan together! Celebrate your successes and do not berate your failures, rather, learn from them.
  • The grace is … there are ways back from perceived failures in relationship with children. Healing, repair and reconciliation is often possible when and where it is safe for this to occur.


Find ways to grow wisdom.

Discover empowering relationships. Explore quiet spaces, coffee, a good book, a chat, meditation or any number of similar strategies as part of all you do. Based on this sort of wisdom, learn to follow your intuition and hunches as you climb into and develop your relationship with your child.

Most recent edit: 19FEB15~pd

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